I vaguely remember, at one particular point in my life, wanting to become a psychologist. My reason: to help people. I’m grossly attentive and see it as an honor that someone has put their trust in me with matters of the heart. But lately, as I take stock of friendships and embark on mental maintenance, I’ve come to realize that I choose to carry a lot of people’s burdens unprovoked, while not feeling like I attract the same energy. Perhaps its partly due to my lack of comfort with being vulnerable and sharing worrisome things of my own which gives off the notion that I’m good. Although its a beautiful thing to be seen as a safe space for someone’s vunerability, I’ve decided to close my notepad and refrain from playing therapist. It’s trying, emotionally taxing and energy sucking. I’m now seeking peace, wholly.
I’ve become somewhat unapologetic about creating boundaries and cutting out a lot of people and things that prevent me from tapping into my highest mental state, It’s important to guard my mental door and be both mindful and strict on what flows in and flows out.
Being someone who constantly finds herself saving people from emotional recage, having people’s problems sitting heavily on my shoulders and carrying around that baggage has started to weigh on me . And although it would be both foolish and untrue for me to say that I’m done being a listening ear, I’m definitely more selective of what holds my energy.
I have to constantly remind myself that amidst being a good friend and listener, it’s both important and okay to create boundaries and protect my peace. To protect my mind, the energy that enters me and to protect my space. To step away from a heavy situation that may not serve me well, to leave fuckiness on read and just give myself space to breathe.