I was greeted by gloomy grey skies and icicles sprinkled across the ground, a warm-up act which signaled that snow is currently making it’s way onto the main stage. It was my last couple of hours in New York and I was both satisfied and grateful that I was spared by the snowfall, yet anxious by the thought of being immersed in a totally different climate, in a totally different city.
Each year has brought with it drastic change and transition. A reoccurring and self-inflicting theme in my life that thrusts me out of comfort and familiarity and into new and unknown territories which can become emotionally, mentally and physically taxing but so rewarding, even though it may not always feel that way in the initial stage. As arduous as change may be, I’m always sure to invite it in. Whether unannounced or sought. I find solace in it’s ability to foster learning and in knowing that over the hill of growing pains, sits a multitude of experience and immense growth that will leave me better than I was before.
My entire life packed into 3 suitcases which brought on a confusing sweep of feelings. It felt freeing not having a tight grip on anything and effortlessly shedding clothes and possessions that I felt no longer served me and could better serve someone else. Ridding myself of my hoarding ways and finding both comfort and excitement in the notion that those are just mere things that can be replaced. And yet, it’s still kind of sad seeing all my belongings in just 3 suitcases. It was a reminder of the little voice in my head that never passes up an opportunity to remind me that I’m not getting any younger and I need to start planting roots and actually live in one place for more than a year, for god’s sake!
I managed to get to my seat in one peace while “excuse me” and “sorry” spilled out of my mouth, I was not expecting this aircraft to be so small. There’s a lady sitting across from me nibbling on a snack so carefully as if trying to savor every bite and delay it’s end. It took the woman next to me 0.5 seconds to fall asleep after the flight took off, such effortless surrender to slumber is something i’ve always been envious of.
I never fail to become overwhelmed by the wild blue yonder and marvel at the clouds, imagining what they might feel like, or if they feel like anything at all, as we hover over them, always struck by it’s beauty and how quiet it seems up there.
The flight took longer than I expected and at this rate, it’s a shame that I flew 6+ hours and found myself still within the borders of the United States. I finally arrived to warm sunny weather and a few palm trees already in clear view even before leaving the airport. The warm air instantly prompted a smile on my face.
“Los Angeles; be good to me,” I said quietly to myself.