I got to Los Angeles at a time when the weather did very little to cosign all the wonderful things I read and was told about it. “LA was false advertising” I kept complaining, quite annoyed that I was not welcomed by the bright scorching sun I was promised after merely escaping the cruel cold on the east-coast. People would jokingly say I came with the bad weather with me from New York as a rebuttal. It was raining and gloomy and cold and I was over it.
Finally, the skies have cleared and I get to experience the warm sun on my skin for more than two days at a time. The winter boots are being thrown to the back of the wardrobe and the more lighter and short-length items have started occupying space at the front. Continuing with fashion’s 90s nostalgic obsession, the barely-there (or naked) sandal has been a street style staple and constant feature on instagram and fashion publications ever since the trend hit the SS19 runway in a big way. Fashion outlier Phoebe Philo re-ushered the trend with her nude sandal for her 2018 Resort collection (#OldCeline, Gone But Never Forgotten) and brands like Tibi and The Row followed suit. The thin strap and overall minimal aesthetic gives you the perfect finish for almost any look; whether pairing it with a slip dress, adding chicness to a pant suit or elevating a tee and jeans look; the barely-there sandal is the quintessential versatile shoe.
Unabashedly consuming no less than two podcast episodes a day, it's a no brainer that I have a monthly podcast round up series! Every month, I will be sharing my favorite episodes from my favorite podcasts; whether it be an interview with the Editor-In-Chief of a fashion publication, conversations pertaining to digital and the media industry or an inspiring story that sparks the necessary fire to light up your path to success; I've got you covered!
- Interview with Rajni Jacques, Fashion Director at Allure Magazine. (So What Do You Do Again?)
- Freelancing 101 With Austen Toscone (The Female Millennial)
- Behind Highsnobiety's First E-Commerce Partnership With Prada (The BoF)
- Raissa Gerona | Revolve (Short Story Long)
- The Curiosity-Driven Life With Elizabeth Gilbert (Oprah's Supersoul Sundays)
- Live Life Free ft Besidone Amoruwa, Strategic Partnerships at Instagram (Naked Beauty)
- Industry Plant (The Friendzone)
- Liv Little, creator of Gal-dem, Raising Investment, Microaggressions (In Good Company)
My biggest achievement this week has been finally getting around to deep conditioning my hair. This is a small milestone that I do not take lightly and one that should be celebrated. Deep conditioning is believed to be an important step in the haircare regime that nourishes, strengthens and promotes hair growth and one that definitely requires you to include it into your weekly planner. I find it quite tedious and an endeavor that my schedule does not always permit, and although I know how beneficial it is for my natural hair, a shampoo and quick condition usually have no choice but to suffice. It’s not so much the act of conditioning that I find time-consuming but the time allocated to letting my hair soak in all that goodness.
After applying my favorite Mielle leave-in conditioner along with my oils of choice, I decided it was way more feasible to deep condition my hair overnight as apposed to rinsing it out after an hour or two, which would've resulted in me not having ample time to do the other tasks on my to-do list that day.
Before going natural….
I was 6 years old the first time I got a relaxer. After having an in-depth discussion with my friends and trying to find a common thread in our recollections, I found that there was never really a discussion around getting a relaxer. Something so permanent, you’d think it would warrant a sit down and thorough explanation of all it’s pros and cons. Maybe I might have been too young to make such a huge decision if given all the information, which begs the question: why was I getting one in the first place? 'But even if I may have been given the choice' I thought, I doubt I’d have refused. Admittedly, I loved how the wind had enough space to pass so effortlessly through my hair, I loved how my sleek and straight hair made me feel, how it made my face look. How the more sleeker my roots were, the more beautiful I felt.
When my ‘hairgrowth’ would start bulking up at the root and proudly announced quite boisterously that I was soon due for a relaxer, I knew what time it was. Relaxer days were ones I looked forward to, minus the blisters that formed at the back of my neck. I remember that burning sensation like it was yesterday; waiting till the very last minute until my head couldn’t take it any longer because God forbid I go through all of that agony for my roots to be anything less than super straight.
One day, I was getting my routine relaxer done by my grandmother who was occasionally tasked with doing it. She had accidentally forgot to add the activator to the mixture. After my mother held up the activator with a perplexed and horror- struck look on her face, she frantically ran me to the bathtub to wash it out. And as you may have guessed, yes my hair did fall out. Was that horrific incident enough for me to bid farewell to the creamy crack? Absolutely not.
In my second year of university, I decided to ditch the relaxer and finally become acquainted with the real hair that grows from my head. “I wonder what my curl pattern is?” “Would natural hair suit me?” “How would I maintain it?” “Will I be less attractive?”All these peculiar questions filled my mind and later made me realize how insane it was that I was not sure whether my own natural hair would suit me, THE HAIR THAT GROWS OUT OF MY OWN SCALP?!
I’ve been natural for close to 6 years now. Although I can’t picture myself without my coils that take on a life of it’s own, It’s still very much a complicated and personal relationship. I still don’t deep condition my hair as much as I need to, I’m not completely sure if my hair is either high porosity or low porosity and I still prefer my hair braided than left in a fro to run free.
People often equate going natural as this act of bravery and the resistance to euro-centric beauty standards. It’s as if it’s this final destination of self-acceptance and entering a new realm of self-love. Do I love myself a little less because I reluctantly wear my natural hair out only to follow the black-girl-universal-rule of giving your hair and scalp atleast a few days to breathe before braiding again, as apposed to rocking my fro because I actually want to?
A part of me feels it isn’t that deep but I can’t help but think about how wearing my natural hair out makes me feel vulnerable; like the stripping away of my amour, baring my true self. I feel somewhat exposed when I wear my natural hair out, just as I feel when I leave the house without make-up.
I’ve been trying to do right by my hair, making deep conditioning an equal part of my weekly schedule and moving towards treating my hair like an appreciated extension of myself. I’m learning to love it in it’s entirety. To not dread having to deal with it and decide to tame it with eco-styling gel and a hard bristled brush every chance I get, trying to let it spring freely and roam whichever direction it chooses, however it may please. It’s a journey, one that requires me to face my insecurities and grow a deep love with my hair and all the other parts of me that i’ve chosen to keep hidden for so long.
And on that note, I should really start on this twist-out…
I’ve been getting my hair braided for as long as I can remember; sitting in a chair for hours on end engulfed by strands of fibre, slightly shifting my lower body when my bottom begins to feel numb, trying to pass time by getting lost in my thoughts with the occasional hair tug to bring me back to my reality, stealing a moment to feel how much of my own hair was left exposed which allowed me to measure how many more braids still needed to be put in. I was never correct in my assessment.
It’s a lengthy, aching and tedious process with a shiny reward at the end- a hairdo that requires little maintenance and one that gives me a temporary break from my multiple step hair regimen, minus the first few nights that make it almost impossible to sleep (tip: Wet your hands with lukewarm water and run your fingers in-between your braids, it will soothe your scalp)
Before moving to South Korea in 2016, my initial web searches, among other things, were salons I could get my hair braided at and if any even existed, followed by a deep dive down the rabbit hole of salon yelp reviews. Upon my arrival, I soon found out that there was a whole street packed with African hair salons just 40 minutes from where I lived. The cost was more expensive than I was used to but to me, back then, it was a small price to pay.
Fast forward to 2018 and finding myself in New York, I decided to get my hair braided about 3 months after my arrival. Although I was pretty pleased with the results, the price was not to my liking. I couldn’t help but open my currency app and convert every single dollar amount I was met with to rands. The disparity between the two figures constantly had me deliberating over whether the asking price was worth it or not. So I decided, amid all the high-priced things (Everything in New York is expensive tbh), both necessary and unnecessary, I would be spending my hard earned dollar notes on, getting my hair braided was not going to be one of them. After just a couple of youtube tutorials later, I did my first box braids on my own coils and have since never looked back. It’s quite unfortunate that it took disapproving of the cost of hair braiding in NYC to force me to learn how to braid my own hair. The process is laborious and both my arms and hands hate me for it but comparable to the price it costs to get my hair done by a professional versus doing it on my own, it always seems worth it.
I was greeted by gloomy grey skies and icicles sprinkled across the ground, a warm-up act which signaled that snow is currently making it’s way onto the main stage. I had a few hours in New York before my flight and I was both satisfied and grateful that I was spared by the snowfall, yet anxious by the thought of being immersed in a totally different climate, in a totally different city.
Each year has brought with it drastic change and transition. A reoccurring and self-inflicting theme in my life that thrusts me out of comfort and familiarity and into new and unknown territories which can become emotionally, mentally and physically taxing but so rewarding, even though it may not always feel that way in the initial stage. As arduous as change may be, I’m always sure to invite it in. Whether unannounced or sought. I find solace in it’s ability to foster learning and in knowing that over the hill of growing pains, sits a multitude of experience and immense growth that will leave me better than I was before.
My entire life packed into just three suitcases which brought on perplexing sweeps of feelings. It felt freeing not having a tight grip on anything and effortlessly shedding clothes and possessions that I felt no longer served me and could possibly better serve someone else. Ridding myself of my hoarding ways and finding both comfort and excitement in the notion that those are just mere things that can be replaced. And yet, it was still kind of sad seeing all my belongings in just three suitcases. It was a reminder of the little voice in my head that never passes up an opportunity to remind me that I’m not getting any younger and I need to start planting roots and actually live in one place for more than a year, for God’s sake!
I managed to get to my seat in one peace while “excuse me” and “sorry” spilled out of my mouth, I was not expecting this aircraft to be so small. There was a lady sitting across from me nibbling on a snack so carefully as if trying to savor every bite and delay it’s end. It took the woman next to me 0.5 seconds to fall asleep after the flight took off, such effortless surrender to slumber is something i’ve always been envious of.
I never fail to become overwhelmed by the wild blue yonder and marvel at the clouds, imagining what they might feel like or if they feel like anything at all as we hover over them, always struck by it’s beauty and how quiet it seems up there. The flight took longer than I expected and at this rate, it’s a shame that I flew 6 plus hours and found myself still within the borders of the United States.
I finally arrived to warm sunny weather and a few palm trees already in clear view even before leaving the airport. The warm air instantly prompted a smile on my face.
“Los Angeles, be good to me.” I whispered to myself.
It’s been exactly one year since I touched down in South Korea on a winter afternoon in the middle of February. There’s nothing quite like being welcomed by an icy breeze that bites through four layers of clothing, ushering me into this new country while simultaneously sending a signal that I am indeed very far away from South Africa. (more…)
I decided to be adventurous and head to the island of Boracay for a few days after a fulfilling and fun week in Bali. I met with a friend who resides in South Korea as well, and the memo for the trip was “Rest, Relaxation and Cocktails on the Beach.” I was back at work the following week so doing very little was high up on my list. However, that’s not quite how things turned out. (more…)
Everyone needs to experience Bali, at least once in their life. The island is covered with scenic views and the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen.
There are picturesque visuals and Instagram-worthy moments on every street corner you turn.
I decided to be adventurous and head to the island of Boracay for a few days after a fulfilling and fun week in Bali. I met with a friend who resides in South Korea as well, and the memo for the trip was “Rest, Relaxation and Cocktails on the Beach.” I was back at work the following week so doing very little was high up on my list. However, that’s not how things quite turned out. Gripped by spontaneity, I went island hopping, parasailing, helmet diving, jet skiing, partied with locals and expats, and I would like to add that I did get my fair share of R&R so in essence, it was actually perfect.
On my last full day on the island I decided to kick back at the beach- that was the whole point of my trip after all. After spending a few hours on Boracay’s White Beach (Which I’ve dubbed ‘The Golden Child’ of Boracay) I was somewhat left underwhelmed. Every website I visited prior to my trip spoke highly of its beauty and they wouldn’t dare let you forget it. However in my opinion, Puka Beach is hands down the most beautiful beach I’ve had the opportunity to experience. It is far removed from the hustle and bustle of the island, relatively untouched with crystal clear water and the whitest sand I’ve had the pleasure of resting my feet on. I spent the entire day soaking up the sun, drifting in and out of slumber, reading a few pages of Americanah and drinking one, too many Strawberry Banana smoothies from the Tiki bar that played reggae music throughout the day, solidifying that I was indeed experiencing euphoria.
I had an interesting conversation with two young Colombians about our respective countries and the ridiculous stereotypes that follow its natives wherever they go, the state of our political parties back home, institutionalized racism and of course… Pablo Escobar. In between conversing and gazing at the blue ocean with a San Miguel in hand this time, I couldn’t help but feel proud and grateful that a thought that constantly lingered in my mind was now happening. I often thought about getting away many times, finding myself in a remote island under palm trees and soaking up as much vitamin D as my melanin could take. It made me realize just how far I’ve come. My life has changed drastically in the past year and it also got me thinking about the importance of acknowledging your achievements. Its a concept I have battled with for a very long time and to be honest, I have still not won the war. No one is more hard on me than I am, I am my biggest critic.
I am ambitious and extremely hard on myself. I never feel as though my accomplishments are enough because there is still so much I want to achieve. After achieving a milestone in my life my immediate thought thereafter is “Okay, whats next?” I do not have the time to bask in glory and dwell on triumphs.
Although some may see it as humility, the feeling of inadequacy does you no good. Its extremely important to not only know where you are heading but just how far you’ve come and all the milestones you have achieved along your journey- they are just as important as reaching your destination. It is also easy to fall in the trap of comparison and subconsciously align your life’s work alongside your peers and play a game of “Spot the Difference.”
Instead of constantly looking around you to see what everyone else is doing, keep your head down and grind. Quit being so hard on yourself and celebrate your achievements, big or small. Give daps where daps is due. Small wins are still wins.
